Alice Clayton / Jun 04, 2020

Wallbanger Caroline Reynolds has a fantastic new apartment in San Francisco a KitchenAid mixer and no O and we re not talking Oprah here folks She has a flourishing design career an office overlooking the ba

  • Title: Wallbanger
  • Author: Alice Clayton
  • ISBN: 2940015785180
  • Page: 311
  • Format: Nook
  • Caroline Reynolds has a fantastic new apartment in San Francisco, a KitchenAid mixer, and no O and we re not talking Oprah here, folks She has a flourishing design career, an office overlooking the bay, a killer zucchini bread recipe, and no O She has Clive the best cat ever , great friends, a great rack, and no O Adding insult to O less, since her move, she has an oCaroline Reynolds has a fantastic new apartment in San Francisco, a KitchenAid mixer, and no O and we re not talking Oprah here, folks She has a flourishing design career, an office overlooking the bay, a killer zucchini bread recipe, and no O She has Clive the best cat ever , great friends, a great rack, and no O Adding insult to O less, since her move, she has an oversexed neighbor with the loudest late night wallbanging she s ever heard Each moan, spank, and was that a meow punctuates the fact that not only is she losing sleep, she still has, yep, you guessed it, no O Enter Simon Parker No, really, Simon, please enter When the wallbanging threatens to literally bounce her out of bed, Caroline, clad in sexual frustration and a pink baby doll nightie, confronts her heard but never seen neighbor Their late night hallway encounter has, well, mixed results Ahem With walls this thin, the tension s gonna be thick In her third novel, Alice Clayton returns to dish her trademark mix of silly and steamy Banter, barbs, and strutting pussycats, plus the sexiest apple pie ever made, are dunked in a hot tub and set against the gorgeous San Francisco skyline in this hot and hilarious tale of exasperation at first sight.

    • Free Read [Crime Book] ↠ Wallbanger - by Alice Clayton ✓
      311 Alice Clayton
    • thumbnail Title: Free Read [Crime Book] ↠ Wallbanger - by Alice Clayton ✓
      Posted by:Alice Clayton
      Published :2019-08-17T03:39:48+00:00

    About "Alice Clayton"

      • Alice Clayton

        ALICE CLAYTON worked in the cosmetics industry for over a decade before picking up a pen read laptop.She enjoys gardening but not weeding, baking but not cleaning up, and finally convinced her long time boyfriend to marry her.Now, about that Bernese Mountain dog.


    1. 5 HUGE STARS!!!!LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE THIS BOOK!! EVERYONEHASTO READ IT!!!This book was brilliant!!Pure gold!I’m in love with Simon. Completely, utterly in love.My cheeks ache from laughing.My heart is happy.Did I mention I love this book? This book was pure, decadent, lighthearted, un-put-downable, FUN!! A well-written, perfect blend of all things happy, romantic, sweet, funny (hilarious, really), melty, swoony, witty, steamy, with just enough tender, deeper moments to make my heart squeeze. I [...]

    2. BANG BANG BANG!Oh GodBANG BANG BANG!! Oh GodNG BANG BANG!!!OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOOOOOODDDD!!!!!!!THE WALLS ARE SHAKING, PICTURES ARE FALLING DOWN!!!! RUN FOR COVER PEOPLE!!! GRAB YOUR FAVOURITE BOOK, SHOVE IT DOWN YOUR DRESS AND HIDE UNDER THE TABLE!! I THINK WE'RE HAVING AN EARTHQUAKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!BUT Wait A SecNot an earthquake, definitely not an earthquake.One, only one wall is shakingLIKE SOMEONE'S BANGING ON IT!!!!Let's take a closer look, Shall we? [...]

    3. Text messages between The Book and Blacky:So, what do you think about me?Well you weren't short at all :DWell yeah I'm pretty long and thickJust about average I'd sayPfttt you are average missy! Didn't you like all the humor?Yeah it was good I guess, the scene with Dr. Ross was the best :DOhhhh yes, makes me think of dirty things, that man. I wish I had my O back :(Yes, I wish it too! Your O brought more frustration to me than it did to you!Whatcha sayin'? You didn't like all the sexual frustrat [...]

    4. Have you ever been in the honeymoon phase with someone? You know, that dreamy world where everything the other person does is magic and you can’t seem to get enough of each other? Usually during this time you go AWOL from the rest of your lives for a few weeks and mash your squishy bits together 24/7. At some point (usually when chafing forces you out of your hormone induced frenzy) you remember there are other people in your life and so you emerge from your lust-filled cocoon and introduce th [...]

    5. “Kittens,lay back.You are about to get Wallbanged.”I was an addict craving her dose.I was lost in a dull world full of mundane stuff for so long I almost became a mundane myself.After a month of abstinence from reading and severe book deprivation,after long days and bookless nights,the time came to return where I belong.And I had to celebrate!I wanted something light.I wanted saucy and funny and Wallbanger promised to deliver them all.And oh boy,it did!But it also delivered sweet,and fluffy, [...]

    6. Review posted at:Swept Away By Romance 3 1/2 to 4 starsThere's no doubt Wallbanger is a fun, delightful, moderately sexy, feel-good read that bordered on the ANNOYING. There were times I felt like wallbanging my head against the wall with the amount of unresolved sexual tension this poor couple was put through. Geez! This particular aspect of the story became so frustrating. I enjoyed getting to know the two main characters, Simon and Caroline. They were endearing, playful–maybe a little immat [...]

    7. What is with these 'OMG! Super-Hot! Fun!' books that become all the rage here on GR lately? And they are all the same.A Mary Sue heroine with a perfect job and perfect friends who looks perfect but for some reason is alone and sexually frustrated. And she's all kinds of batshit about her perceptions of men or sex or men AND sex. Thus, the heroine of what exactly? Then the hero. Well he's of course otherworldly gorgeous and fit, although he puts absolutely no effort into becoming that way, and mo [...]

    8. ETA: downgraded to 3 stars. September 20, 2015."Hello O! Nice to see you again. With his lips he brought me one."  3.5 stars. I mean it. And I want half stars!Once upon a time there was a missing O. The pressure of an O long denied, waiting patiently—and sometimes impatiently—for her release. Lucky you, because you found The Wallbanger. Simon: How’s the pressure now?Caroline: Do you want me to hurt you? Shut it! *a look of dreamy bliss on her face* Enter Baba… Hey guys! I wanna have [...]

    9. *****5 Bring it on home, Wallbanger stars*****This was me 95% of the bookd more laughing. *****************************************This is the story of wallbanging photographer Simon and interior designer Caroline. Their apartments are across the hall from each other and the walls are very very thin you can hear everything that's going on in each other's apartments. Are you following me so far? Well, Simon doesn't do relationships, flowers, etcd one night while BANGING(yes he was).he hears BANGI [...]

    10. So disappointed! This book went from "O.M.G!" to a big fat "D.N.F." at 75% I really (and I mean REALLY!) enjoyed the opening of this book, and was looking forward to a great read. But in the end, I gave it too much of my time and finally just had to call it quits.Oh, it started off so funny and original. The 'Wallbanger' and 'Cock blocker' jokes were cute. Simon was such a mystery, and Caroline was a person I would love to hang with if she was a real person. Her conversations with her cat had me [...]

    11. Just what I needed!During a pretty mad point in my year end, Alice Clayton put the smile on my face I so needed. I loved Caroline, although she was a little crackers, but I've got to cut the girl some slack because if I'd have been lacking in the area in which she was oh so lacking, then I guess I would be a bit of a loose canon too. Enter Simon. The flirting, sexual tension and innuendos that were batting between these two almost me had me wishing I could magic myself into the scene to rip thei [...]

    12. This book is effin' hilarious I was laughing non-stop for sure.And Harriet, my mate only made it double exciting When I picked up the first page, I wasAnd we move, 50% dear me, By 85% I was equally frustrated with her, chasing her Big O, and Simon is ain't helping at all! Damn, UST is way too much! Finally, I was screaming with at happiness at 92% and in love!What I can say more, I really really had fun with Simon, Caroline, Clive (such a character)!!!!! Let's meet them <3Simon, Mr Wallbanger [...]

    13. I realize that I'm probably in the minority here but while I found the story funny at times, I just didn't find it fulfilling. Caroline has a very unique way of thinking and comes across bit quirky which I like :) I really respected how Simon approached the development of this new relationship which made him all the more likeable as he could have blown our expectations out of the planet with how entangled his web was. Caroline and Simon felt a product of circumstance and matchmaking more than an [...]

    14. Essential elements of a sensational romantic comedy novel:Strong, sarcastically hilarious heroine – CheckGorgeously sexy, hot hero – OMG, check, check and CHECK!!!!Sizzling chemistry – Check Hilariously rude flirting – Check Wickedly sensational banter – HELL YEAH Check Swoony romance – CheckSteam factor – Holy hell, CHECK!Love, love, love this book! It was hilarious, gorgeously swoony, and so much fun!“Fucking Wallbanger,” I hissed, frozen on the spot. His grin slid off as wel [...]

    15. 5 Wallbanging Stars ♥This is one of those stories that has made me fall completely and madly in book love, I can't believe I nearly never read it???? What was I thinking?!! Sexual frustrationWantingNeedingAllowing yourself more*All experienced in this book*Wallbanger has a cast of wonderful characters led by our hero and heroine, Simon and Caroline, and featuring Clive, a cat. lol, he's a comedy star! The premise of the story is Caroline has a new neighbour, Simon. he likes his ladies and bang [...]

    16. This book cured me of my HUGE reading funk !!!!!4 stars for the story and the humor + 1 extra star for the last two chapters ! Damn I loved that bit a lot ! just 'over capacity'ed me , so I'm gonna try posting my review another day !In the mean time , READ this book ! Its fuckin hilarious and awesome ! Edit : 30/11/2012 Now, Backbone and Brain were solidly in the wait-for-sex camp, believing this essential to the foundation of this burgeoning relationship. LC ( Lower Caroline ), and therefore S [...]

    17. 4 Simon Baker-The Mentalist, Flirty, Banter, Baked Goods Stars****Spoiler FreeDear Ms. Clayton,I am writing to you as I know you have a close personal relationship with Simon, Caroline and their posse. I wanted to first congratulate you on excellent taste. You telling us about these people in the way that you did, just brightened up my day. It was such a change to see grown up, evolved professionals behave as friends, looking out for one another and interacting in a respectful manner. That they [...]

    18. Wallbanger is the literary equivalent of a long night giggling with your best friend over cocktails & pints of ice-cream… It just makes you feel good…Nights like that might not be life altering… but they'll stick with you all the same. A fond memory you can draw on when you're having a rough day. This book will affect you in a similar way. We all know the premise Caroline moves into a new condo and is repeatedly woken up by her neighbor's headboard banging into the wallAfter confrontin [...]

    19. And the Wallbanger book is born.The Abtastic Ab Loving GeishasAnd the date was set & the Wallbanger enthusiasts started reading.2-3 days after.F* no. This is not a 5 star read.Oh boy. *mouths* Someone's not happy.Ok. To explain. It started out good. Really good, actually.It was hilarious and the story held my interest first.Heck, who wouldn't be addicted to you when you can squeeze orgasm out of a woman's vagina like I do with my juicing oranges every morning?But while this was a cute read a [...]

    20. I had a good time reading this with my friends at the abtastic ab-loving geishas, but I did find it a little juvenile and shallow. Funny - but juvenile and shallow.The best part of the book was Clive the Cat. Clyde falls in love with a girl who meows, attacks his owner's new boyfriend's head, and even flips off Caroline."Shut it, Clive," I hissed. A paw came out through the crack and I swear he flipped me offI can honestly say that this is the first cat I've ever liked. I've always known that ca [...]

    21. Laugh-out-loud, snort-tea-through-your-nose, stupid-grin-on-your-face funny!I found that this took a little while to get going. At about the 25% mark, it was dragging and I was thinking to myself 'Ok, so? Come on, get to the point.' And then it did!And it was hilariously funny, brilliantly witty, yet adorably romantic and incredibly sexy! Yep, all of those things rolled into one book.Wrapped around each other but now clad in a pink nightie and a pair of sweatpants. To be clear, I wore the pink n [...]

    22. 3.5 stars Ok, let's keep this short and sweetThis book was OKAY but just okay, nothing exciting. I was expecting much more but well, I guess I am in a book funk at the moment.Simon and Caroline live in the same building. They meet each other because Simon is a Wall Banger. Yes, he f@cks different chicks every night and Caroline and her sweet and EVIL cat Clive can't sleep. So well, you're probably getting the picture One night she knocks on his door and TA CHAN they see each other and they feel [...]

    23. “Kittens, lay back. You are about to get Wallbanged,”~Oh!My!God!H-O-T-N-E-S-S!MY SIMON WALLBANGER!!!!♥♥♥[image error]Uploaded with ImageShack♥♥♥ Simon Wallbanger. The book started with a lot of "thump-thump-spank me-thum-thump-meow,meow-thump-thump-giggles" the spanking, the meowing, the giggles belong to three different "harems" and the thumping was all done by the Giant Bed of Sin. Caroline, his neighbor, with a missing "O"got pissed with the nightly banging, bang his doors wea [...]

    24. !!!Hump Alert!!!Simon was just *swoon* Hot, loving, hot, sexy, smoking hot, sweet, caring and totally adorable! Boy, did he BANG with wall out of wallbanging! LOLCaroline, Independent, refreshing, lovely, sweet, pretty and hot! ;) Liked her character, not the normal Bella types who whines, who's clingy, pissing off etc!The book wasn't HA HA funny but it was very humorous, had amazing punch lines and nasty double meaning rounds going ;)The characters were nice and something fresh enjoyed them ;D [...]

    25. “Oh, God .”Thump.“Oh, God.”Thump thump.What the“Oh, God, that’s so good!”SO.DAMN.FUNNY.I loved the characters,the story,the humor,the chemistry between Simon and Caroline,Caroline's best friends, CLIVE Such a wonderful and quirky story that got me laughing out loud so many times.I would swear, on a stack of Bibles in a court of actual law, that I heard my cat speak.“Porrrrreeeennnnnya,” Clive said, and I whirled about. In the span of five seconds, a thousand things happened: I [...]

    26. I dunno. It was cute up until they went to Spain. After that, I just kind of lost interestTo be fair though, it was overall better than I was expectingEVER!I need to mention this because I'M FUCKING SICK OF EVERY MALE LEAD IN EROTICAS HAVING 200 PACK ABS!THIS GUY IS LITERALLY A PHOTOGRAPHER FOR A LIVING AND THERE IS ZERO MENTION OF HIM GOING TO THE GYM ON A REGULAR BASIS. DO YOU REALIZE HOW HARD IT IS TO GET ABS? IF YOU'RE NOT CONSTANTLY WORKING OUT, EATING THE MOST SPECIFIC DIET (and trust me S [...]

    27. 3.5 Stars- Fun story- A little sexy, but you'vegottawaitr it!- A bit unbelievable- Annoying cat, but also hilarious!!- Really likeable, normal peopleis was my favorite part.While I enjoyed the story and got a few good chuckles out of it, once again I wasn't as enamored as everyone else seemed to be. I feel like the old grumpy Grandma sitting in her recliner hollering at everyone to quiet down. The story was fun and light with a nice sweet contemporary romance to read when you don't want anything [...]

    28. i am still bouncing between 2 and 3 stars. why aren't there half stars?!! its2.5 Stars The thing that made me bump this up to 3 stars was definitely the banter, it was super funny and sexy. after thinking about it a bit i did bump it down after all. to much babbling and cliche. Actually other than the banter i didnt enjoy the book that much.Honestly I ended up liking this more than I initially thought.About 20% in I wouldn't even have given it 2stars. it was just so cliche, and I found Caroline [...]

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